Almost all of us would have some issues and arguments on the things we want and our parents expect from us. What is actually good parenting. Parenting is not just about the child growing up and feeding them and providing them with all the facilities they want and they demand for. In almost every house of India, may it be Jammu or Gujarat, there are conflicts on the perceptions of parents and children. Is it always the young people of our country that they do not understand their parents or it is the parents they expect too much from their children or they do not understand the needs and mindset of young people.
So let us learn something on parenting and not just growing the children but raising the up to be the ideal man.
To parent effectively, it’s not enough to simply avoid the obvious dangers like abuse, neglect, or overindulgence. Indeed, The National Academy of Sciences delineates four major responsibilities for parents: maintaining children's health and safety, promoting their emotional well-being, instilling social skills, and preparing children intellectually. Numerous studies suggest that the best-adjusted children are reared by parents who find a way to combine warmth and sensitivity with clear behavioral expectations. Parents may find the Four C’s to be a helpful acronym: care (showing acceptance and affection), consistency (maintaining a stable environment), choices (allowing the child to develop autonomy), and consequences (applying repercussions of choices, whether positive or negative).
The four Baumrind parenting styles have distinct names and characteristics:
Authoritarian or Disciplinarian
Permissive or Indulgent
Authoritarian parents are often thought of as disciplinarians.
They use a strict discipline style with little negotiation possible. Punishment is common.
Communication is mostly one way: from parent to child. Rules usually are not explained.
Parents with this style are typically less nurturing.
Expectations are high with limited flexibility.
Permissive or Indulgent parents mostly let their children do what they want, and offer limited guidance or direction. They are more like friends than parents.
Their discipline style is the opposite of strict. They have limited or no rules and mostly let children figure problems out on their own.
Communication is open but these parents let children decide for themselves rather than giving direction.
Parents in this category tend to be warm and nurturing.
Expectations are typically minimal or not set by these parents.
Uninvolved parents give children a lot of freedom and generally stay out of their way. Some parents may make a conscious decision to parent in this way, while others are less interested in parenting or unsure of what to do.
No particular discipline style is utilized. An uninvolved parent lets a child mostly do what he wants, probably out of a lack of information or caring.
Communication is limited.
This group of parents offers little nurturing.
There are few or no expectations of children.
Authoritative parents are reasonable and nurturing, and set high, clear expectations. Children with parents who demonstrate this style tend to be self-disciplined and think for themselves. This style is thought to be most beneficial to children.
Disciplinary rules are clear and the reasons behind them are explained.
Communication is frequent and appropriate to the child’s level of understanding.
Authoritative parents are nurturing.
Expectations and goals are high but stated clearly. Children may have input into goals.
Know your parenting styles and what is your way to raise the children. Do you want to be stricter parents with your children or a friend and one that your child shares all your secrets to you.
What makes a good parent? There are 10 competencies that predict good parenting outcomes, parent-child bonds and children's happiness, health and success.
These 10, listed in order from most to least important, predict a strong parent-child bond and children's happiness, health, and success:
Love and affection. "You support and accept the child, are physically affectionate, and spend quality one-on-one time together."
Stress Management. "You take steps to reduce stress for yourself and your child, practice relaxation techniques, and promote positive interpretations of events."
Relationship skills. "You maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse, significant o ther, or co-parent and model effective relationship skills with others."
Autonomy and Independence. "You treat your child with respect and encourage him or her to become self-sufficient and self-reliant."
Education and learning. "You promote and model learning and provide educational opportunities for your child."
Life skills. "You provide for your child, have a steady income, and plan for the future."
Behavior management. "You make extensive use of positive reinforcement and punish only when other methods of managing behavior have failed."
Health. "You model a healthy lifestyle and good habits, such as regular exercise and proper nutrition."
Religion. "You support spiritual or religious development and participate in spiritual or religious activities."
Safety. "You take precautions to protect your child and maintain awareness of the child's activities and friends."
The foremost thing a parent does and should not do is to compare your child with someone better than them. You always need to make them feel that they are better and could achieve a lot many things.
Next thing that is providing your children with all the facilities is not just enough. A child should know to survive in all the situations. Providing them with all the luxuries is not a good parenting but to understand them and know what they really want. Is it all the luxuries a child wants or some support and understanding. More than 50% of the Indian parents just compare their child to others and don’t understand the potential of their own child and what they really want.
The other complaints children are that mostly there are things and freedom given to boys and brothers but the same thing may not be right for a girl. If a family has any restrictions, they must have same rules for girls and boys.
And be a friend to your child. Make sure that even if tomorrow he does anything wrong and is in some serious problem, they should be able to share problems with you. You could be the ultimate support.